As I’ve shared, I started this blog a few years ago to help keep me on track with my “diet.” Since then, though only a modest amout of followers, my blog has turned into a way to share experiences that occur in my life–both good and bad–completely honesty. At the very core of my being, I truly believe that integrity and honesty are the most important virtues that we can uphold. Afterall, if integrity is doing the right thing when noone is watching; and, if we are decietful when we think we won’t get caught, then who are we really lying to…ourselves??
This isn’t to say that I’ve always chosen to do the right thing. FAR FROM IT! I often joke I have a one way ticket to hell. I’ve done lots of things that are wrong. However, after “getting caught” or “outing myself” no matter how small or large the infraction may be, I try to learn from the experience. I refuse to live in a sea of regret, fingerpointing, blame, or victimhood. I guess that is what we would call a growth mindset. I want to learn and grow from my mistakes. In order to do that, though, we must start being honest with ourselves and the things we’ve done and address the people we’ve wronged.
She’s got a ticket to ride…..and she’d don’t care!!!!
Being honest must start with being honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with YOU–you will NEVER be honest with anyone else.
I know me and in knowing myself I can be honest about what I want in my life, who I will let in, what I will tolerate, and where my non-negotiables lie. Also, in knowing myself, is being aware of my shortfalls. And believe me, I am more awared of my more difficult sides. I try to be very self-aware, but more importantly, I try hard to be open to feedback. I’ve always said, “Just because it isn’t my experience, doesn’t mean that it is not someone else’s experience.”
I think all of these sort of thoughts are coming about because the past year–the year of Covid–has forced me to have more introspection than ever. I’ve faced the death of some loved ones. I’ve healed old wounds. I fought some of the hardest battles of my life for the people I love. A few people this year have said to me, “You’ve been through so much.”
I don’t know–I guess I have or maybe I haven’t–but I do know that my God/Universe puts in front of me only what I can handle. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but most times I just do what needs to be done. At the very least I’m gritty. I can handle my shit. I said to my uncle today, “The BITCH is back!”
I’ve been known to be tough, have the mouth of a sailor and an even bigger attitude. One time, a long time ago, my husband said that people found me intimidating. ME??? 4′ 7″ ME???? I’m barely as big as a fifth grader….. Though, I’ve always said, what I lack in stature, I make up for in personality. #Napoleansyndrome
In some ways, that “small dog syndrome” gets me in trouble and in other ways it serves me well. Know this--I NEVER EVER EVER give up. Again, I know my limits, but once I decide something, I won’t give up until I’ve accomplished what I set forth.
In any case, all of this is to say, my blog is my place where I come to release all of those things that meander through my brain at night or pop into my brain when I shower. Here is a place where I manage my anxiety, but sharing in the real parts of me and where I struggle. Here I can be the me that people know or I am some anonymous woman sharing her experience from across the pond. Most of all, this is a place I come to share my experience because I believe that at some point someone somewhere else might recognize in me a little something in them and then they will say, “I AM NOT ALONE!”
No, no you are not alone. Even across the globe, I am here too, living, feeling, breathing the same things you do. In our honest human existence.
All 4'7" of me 