Maybe I Should Just Give Up

I can’t keep up.  I just can’t keep up!

As my kids walked out the door this morning to get on the bus, I stood in my living room, looking around, feeling overwhelmed about the state of disarray that my house is in.

I haven’t vacuumed in at least 3 days.  The dust bunnies are piling up.  I found out my daughter has asthma yesterday.  The basement is being remodeled and it’s upside down.  I need one more work day a week to catch up. My meals don’t seem nearly as healthy as they can be.  My waist line is increasing as each day goes by.  Life is just too GD busy and I feel like I am failing at ALL.OF.IT!

I stood there a moment, proceeded to walk into my bedroom to make my bed and thought to myself, “Now I know why mom’s just give up.”

We don’t go into motherhood expecting that everything will go smoothly, but I feel like that no matter how much someone warns you, life is way more complicated and busy than you ever expect.  I went into marriage and motherhood fully expecting to give up pieces of myself, mainly because I knew there were other human lives that depended on me.  What I wasn’t expecting was the unimaginable weight that all of this holds.

As mothers and wives, we hold ourselves up to impossible standards.  At least I do.  I am constantly worried that my house is not in perfect order.  I mean, what if Jack the Ripper breaks into to kill us and the shoes are not lined up on the shoe rack according to size.  Would he walk out and find another family to maim because he is so offended by my lack of organization skills?  Moreover, what if my mother-in-law drove four hours without prior notice to see my cabinets empty and find that I have been feeding my kids    Easy Mac and Dino nuggies FOR DAYS…..  And the worst of all, what if a crew from the show Hoarders showed up and looked in my underwear draw to see that not only are my bras and undies mixed but they are NOT color coordinated AND they might even find the occasional rogue sock!  The thought is just too much to bear…

Some days, this motherhood gig is a bust!  Lord knows I try.  I try so hard that I make myself exhausted trying to obtain perfection.  When I actually take a moment to step back and think about it, I see that not only is perfection not realistic, perfection is idiotic!

But yet, as my husband went to grab a pizza for dinner, I thought it was a great idea to rearrange the living room, vacuum the couch, polish the furniture, and start a load of laundry.  I wonder if someday I’ll ever feel like I’ve caught up.  Maybe at that point, I just won’t give a shit anymore–that would be OK with me, too.

I suspect, however, that my quest for perfection will never end and that they will bury me with my swifter and vacuum.  

Stupid is as stupid does….

Sometimes I feel like I am in an alternate dimension.  I mean, how many times do you have to say something to people for them to understand?!?  How many different languages must you use before they get it?!?!  Honestly……the amount of stupidity in this world amazes me….

Case in point – Yesterday I had two painters at my house to paint the ceilings in living/kitchen/dining area.  First of all, when the office called to schedule, the receptionist told me they would be there at 9:30.  She then called two days later to confirm.  The night before the painters asked to stop by to take a look to see what they need for the job.  No problem…until they tell my husband they will be there between 10:00 and 10:30.  Mind you, they showed up at 10:45.

Let me be the first to admit that I am terrible about being on time, really awful, BUT I am good at communicating.  Therefore, if I am running late, or don’t anticipate on being somewhere until a specific time, I PICK UP THE PHONE.  Simple, right?  Apparently not.  The left hand didn’t tell the right hand and at 11:00 am, after a quick cigarette break, the job got started.  I could have gone into work for a few hours…if someone had told me that shit wasn’t going to happen until 11, but instead I sat there with my thumb up my ass waiting.

So, the guys started by pulling down my curtains.  I walked in and said, “Oh hey, we would have taken those down for you, but they told us that we only had to take the stuff off the shelves.”  Point of clarification I have a bunch of antiques/chotchkies on shelves that are above my windows.

“Oh yeah, when I was here last night, I only told him to take that stuff  and the pot rack down.  But, now we don’t want to splatter your curtains.”  Hmmmmm…..so last night you didn’t think you would splatter them, but today it appears you might.  Add another 1/2 hour to the time I could have been at work.

Noon time-2:30 pm they cut in the ceiling and roll out one coat. Cigarette break # 27 and lunch break.  “Uh, hey, what time do your kids come home?”

“3:30, but I will keep them out of your hair.”

Painter guy shudders a little, “It’s OK, I was just hoping to have one side done for you before they came in.  We can’t start a second coat because it’s soaked, so we are going to grab a bite to eat”…..and 10 more cigarettes I’m sure….

I stand there with a perplexed look on my face, just smile and nod, and go back to my computer.

3:30- three amped up kids burst through the door like savages looking for food and ANY electronic device.  I sneak under the plastic to grab whatever snacks I can reach and tell them that they are secluded to the porch, their bedrooms, or the basement.  Now, if you have kids, you know telling them that they CAN’T do something means they are going to do EXACTLY the thing you don’t want them to do.

3:45-5:00 painters come back, finish painting and clean up.  I spent the better part of this time saying, “Maddie, come here…. Maddie, I need you for 5 minutes…. MADDIE!!!” Maddie, my little social butterfly, if she would just understand that labor isn’t cheap and the clock is ticking.

I must say they did a beautiful job, really and truly.  The ceilings look great.  Other than the 97 breaks, they were professional, clean and the paint looks great.  It was worth the money….

MONEY….here is where the stupidity REALLY begins.

Painter 1 -“Uhhh, I just called the office and they told me that if you pay by credit card there is a 3% surcharge, so you might change your mind about how you want to pay.”

I had asked at lunch time if I could pay by card or else I would have run to the bank.  I DO NOT write checks.  They told me, “sure, no problem!  We can call the office and give them your credit card.”

Now, three kids are swirling around me, the painter is looking at me blankly, and I say,  “Well, I don’t have checks for my account, I only bank electronically.  I think I have checks for my other account, but it is with another bank.  If I write you a check you CAN NOT cash it until Monday.  I have to transfer the money.”

“No problem.  I’ll tell the office and besides I won’t even drop it off until later tomorrow.”

I write the check.  We look at the paint, chat for a few minutes, then I hand him the check.  “Remember, they can’t cash this until Monday because it will bounce.  I don’t usually keep much money in this account and I am going to transfer it, but because it is coming from another bank, it  will take at least 2 business days.”

“No problem.  I won’t give it to her until tomorrow.”

“OK, can I get a paid invoice?  I need evidence for my homeowner’s.”

“Sure, but I’ll have to call the office.  I don’t have an invoice with me.”

“OK, never-mind,  I will call the office in the morning to ask for it and reminder her about the check.”

We exchange thanks, and they leave.  My night is insanity as usual.  I try to transfer the funds, but the bank is updating its website.  First thing, before 6:00 am the next morning, I transfer the fund.  Like I said, 2 business days….

I get into work and remember that I have to call the painters.  Here’s my conversation:

“Hi , this is Angela Twiggs.  Yesterday I had my ceilings painted and I have two things I need to run by you.”

“Hi Angela.  Sure, what’s up?” – Does this not indicate that she knows who I am???

“Well, first, I need a copy of a paid invoice.  Second, I gave the guys a check.  The problem is either I forgot or I wasn’t told at the quote that there was a 3% surcharge to pay by card and since I don’t normally write checks, I had to use a different bank account and transfer the funds.  Because the funds were coming from a totally different bank, it will take 2 business days for the funds to be available.  If you deposit the check it will bounce, and we will both get fees and it will just be aggravating for both of us.”

“Oh..uhh…I’m the one that does the deposit and I think that was in last night’s deposit.”

“What?!?!  The guys told me that they wouldn’t even drop it off until today.  I told them several times.”

“Yeah, it was in last night’s deposit, but don’t worry if it bounces, we’ll cover the fee.  And I don’t think it will clear right away anyways because our bank is weird and takes a few days.”

Clearly she doesn’t know that I’ve worked in a variety of industries that depend on the banking industry to function so I know my way around a bank.  Either that, or she thinks I’m colossally stupid.

“I hope it doesn’t clear, because I asked them not to deposit it and they assured me they wouldn’t.  I would have given them cash it that were the case.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, like I said our bank is slow.”

Or maybe she is….. I hang up.

5 minutes later the phone rings.

“Hi Angela, it’s [the office lady].  I just wanted you to know that I got you confused with another customer. I was on the phone with [painter 1] and he said ‘!  I still have the check!  I’m bringing it by later today!’  I didn’t want you to worry.  Sorry I got you confused.”

“Oh, OK.  Great, thanks.  It wouldn’t have been good for your or I and I just wanted to avoid the hassle.”

 

 

“No problem.  And by the way, I can’t get you a paid invoice because is on vacation.  He will get it to you by next week.”

I won’t hold my breath….

Believe me, I have a lot of patience, but honestly, communication is obviously not a strong suit of this company.  Although all turned out well, this experience could leave a bad taste in a customer’s mouth.  Having worked in customer service for years AND teaching the National Retail Federation’s Customer Service and Sales class tells me that communication and accuracy with customers is key.  I’ll give her a point for at least calling me back, but really, they should work on their internal communications.

Maybe I’ll send them a flyer for my next class….