Now or Later

As I sit here waiting for my group of sophomores and juniors to arrive, I overhear a fellow educator giving some very sage advice to a young student, “a little bit of sacrifice now means a lot of reward later.”  Of course this is advice that we are all given at a very young age , but for some reason, very few of us take this advice–at least the way we are supposed to.

I can’t even begin to count the times I’ve said to myself I don’t feeling like doing (insert inane chore here), I’ll do it later.  Cue later and I am cursing myself for staying up until midnight getting stuff done.  Each year, as I grow older, I’m realizing the value of just getting shit done, in the moment, when I’m supposed to get it done.

Return that email.

Go for that run.

 

Deal with that fight with your spouse.

Make your kids pull their weight.

                                  Pass on that brownie.

Address that pesky overspending habit.

Seek therapy.

If we learn to make the smaller harder sacrifices when they are little sacrifices, we can avoid the much larger problems that will follow if we choose to ignore them.  I’ve witnessed and struggled with any variety of the aforementioned “sacrifices” and have made choices, regrettably, to deal with them later when they were much larger than they need to be.

Each Sunday night my husband and I sit down, look at the bills, and pay down the debt we’ve acquired over the years.  When we finally took an honest look at our finances, we said WHOA! this is too much.  My in-laws were beginning to retire with relative ease, and we decided that transition into post work life was one that we hoped to attain one day.  Perhaps, had we addressed our overspending a few years earlier, we’d be in a different place.

Know one can ever know, but now we’ve taken the bull by the horns and we created a really comprehensive payoff plan.  We will be debt free in less than 2 years!  Even in these few short months, life is getting a smidgen easier with more cash on hand and less scrambling to make it all work.

I don’t believe in regret, never have, and never will, but I do believe in the power of reflection.  In retrospect, I wish I had chosen to do things “now” instead of later in my younger years.  It was a valuable lesson to learn and one that I keep trying to practice every day.  Had I chosen “now” I’d be a skinny, rich, well connected, MILF who was well balanced–hell I’d be Angelina Jolie instead of Angela Twiggs.   

 

 

 

Living With Tom

Living with Tom is an everyday adventure.

Someone once said to me, “You mean he REALLY is like this….this isn’t him acting, ha?”  Nope…its not a show; he’s the every bit goofy, often outspoken, inappropriate, sometimes a bit much, jovial, never too serious guy that you see.  Most days, I kinda like it. Most days.

Take for instance, his latest FB post:

Not only is this a true story, BUT he felt the need to tell the whole world.  Let me give you some background.

The other night we are working around the yard.  Fast forward to dinner time, I hear him whining from our master bathroom, “Aaaannnnggggeeee!”

“What!?!?”  I yell.  Kids are swarming like angry bees searching for their honey, the tacos are about to come off the stove, and the last thing I feel like doing is  being pulled into one of his stunts.  I walk in the bathroom and he’s hunched over and says, I have a tick on my dick!  NO JOKE!  Well, I’ll leave the rest up to your very able imagination. My point is that this is just an ordinary day in the Twiggs house.  Insanity at its best.

And….this wasn’t the only time he’s had an, ahemmm, accident with his wanker.  Rewind 13 years ago in January.  We were vacationing in Mexico with our bff’s.  As I walk out of the shower I noticed he’s huddled into a ball on the bed, half-naked whimpering.  I ask what the hell is going on.  I assumed he had Montezuma’s revenge being Mexico and all, but no…..he had taken the luggage sticker that airlines place on your suitcase to identify the city where the luggage goes and he wrapped it around his member.  I mean, who in their right mind sees a sticker and says, I’m gonna wrap that around my dick?  Well…..Tom does.

Anywhoo, I gladly offer to help, and rip that mother f!@#$% off like a band-aid.  I mean, what other way is there to do it????

THIS is what living with Tom is like.  Each day he has a new game in our house.  One of his personal faves is Would You Love Me If I Looked Like This (insert ridiculous face). Other times, he will dance like a complete buffoon, like now when he’s cleaning the counters, swaying his hips like the penultimate white boy to Luke Bryan.

Most days, I can’t even walk by him without him trying to grab some part of my body, not because I’m a hot MILF, but because he likes to get me so irritated.  I’ll be about to blow and he’ll say, “You’re sexy when your mad”.  When he says that, it goes one of two ways:

1.  I get even more pissed and chase after him with a wooden spoon 
2. I laugh 

He hopes it’s number two.

All in all, we have a good time and I wouldn’t change a GD thing.  He drives me crazy, literally…bat shit, nut house, mentally deranged, unhinged, up the wall, sign me into Butler crazy!!

But…like I said, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  He keeps me laughing and life lately has been pretty insane for me, and his goofiness keeps me sane.  Don’t they say that laughter is the best medicine?  Maybe that’s why I’m not on a higher dosage than I am….lol

I love my husband to the end of the earth and back, and truth be told, I too, am the captain of the inappropriate ship.  I always say, if you have nothing nice to say, come sit by me (Thanks, Clairee!).  I often tell people that I am very rarely offended though I dare not to offend.  I think dear hubby does that enough for both of us…

So, suffice it to say that living with Tom is like a constant comedy act and these days, his shenanigans are just what I need to get out of this thing called life alive.

Can I get a break?!?

Can I get an effing break?  It’s April, the weather is crappy, my mother is driving me nuts, and the kids missed the freakin’ bus!!!  My great chore chart, my master plan, my sanity….it was all foiled this morning!  Nonetheless, here I am, still blessed to have a job that is supportive of my insanity, my bff who talked me off the edge this morning, and a beautiful family that makes all of the mishaps worth it.

Here’s how it happened….

My alarm goes off at 5:45, but I hear drip, drip, drip…..I look out the sliding glass door that is my bedroom and the skies are grey and it’s raining.  I hit snooze….not once, not twice, but FOUR times!  Why get out of a warm bed???  If you can’t hear the sarcasm in my “voice”,  what I am trying to say is that I’m annoyed that my fat ass didn’t get up and get moving.  Anywhoo, the kids are doing their thing and we’re moving along.  Next thing I know I’m mid-stroke while blow drying my hair (why I even bothered on a rainy day is still a mystery to me), and I notice the big yellow bus with the blinking light in my periphery.

I yell, “The Bus! The Bus!”

We’re all frantic.  There’s jackets flying, sneakers getting tossed, me yelling, kids whining….so what do I do, wave the bus off.  No need to make everyone else late since the Twiggs family can’t get their shit together.

My kids, eyes filled with fear, are looking at me just waiting for the wrath of mom and the litany of things they did not do well.  Instead, I look at them and I say, “Well, I guess I have to drop you off this morning.  Let’s get going.”  I send my boss a text:

Kid catastrophe.  We are all OK, but we missed the bus.  I have to drive the kids to school.

Thank God he’s amazing, he replies:

No worries.  Good luck!

I yell out my usual reminders–counters wiped off, no crumbs on floor, shoes on, bags on-I throw on my boots (yes I know its April, but its hard to part with them), grab my lunch and my bag and we load into the car.

5 minutes later we pull up to school, I get my smooches from my three and then I high-tail it to work.  The good news is that I was SO late that all other buses were done for the day, there was no traffic, and I was able to vent to my bff about the other stuff in my life that is a shit show.  I get to work and I’m greeted my work bff and now I’m ready to start my day.  Later in the day I’ll say, “Hey Melissa, wanna go get a coffee?”  She’ll probably humor me, like she usually does, even if she doesn’t want one.  She knows that I just need a brain break after all of the craziness.  Thank God she gets it.

Tonight is another story, but I’m going to will it to be a good night.  Maybe-just maybe-I can write another 10 pages for my “novel”.  Stay tuned…..

Gone Country…

On Saturday night, Tom and I went to see the famed Allan Jackson in concert.  Even though AJ is a little old school for this country girl, we enjoyed his show.  Generally speaking it was a different crowd–mellower.  There were people two-stepping in the aisles and LOTS of northern cowboys with big belt buckles and even bigger hats.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the tight jeans, although I did have the most handsome cowboy sitting by me. 😉

In the middle of the show, a story literally descended upon me.  I’m not sure if it because I’ve been blogging and exercising my writing muscle, but lately I’m filled with the need to write.  Ironically, in my high school days I HATED writing, but now I”ve found that it is an incredible outlet for me.

In any case, my husband is rocking out to AJ and I am feverishly typing a fiction story on my cell phone.  Whether or not it is worthy of a read, I don’t know, but in the very least, it is fun to go through the process.  Tom and I have been joking about me becoming a famous author, although we both know the likelihood of that being true is nill.  But so what.  When you HAVE to write for money it becomes a job.  I’ve been enjoying writing because my livelihood does not depend on it and I don’t have to worry if my “audience” will enjoy it.

To be honest, I’m surprised that I’ve found the modest following that I have on my blog.  This was only started as a way to keep me accountable as I was trying to be healthier (updates on that to come).  For some reason, the shit I say is interesting to people.  I never thought anyone would care, but here we go.

So my friends, stay tuned, a possible fiction story/novel awaits.  I’ve already drafted about 10 pages–chapter 1, perhaps???

 

Lazy Days

Today is the fourth day of April vacation and although our days have been busy, it hasn’t been all too exciting.  Most of the week has been filled with trips to Lowe’s, the grocery story, attending my son’s baseball games, play dates, cleaning the house and painting the bathroom.  Needles to say when I woke up this morning, I walked over to my son on the couch and said, “Do you need a lazy day?”.  Even before he answered I knew what he would say.

Since it is cold and gloomy outside, I was inspired to bake.  It is important to note here, that I HATE baking.  I love to cook, but baking….requires precision, patience, and following directions step by step.  It’s just not my jam.  Cooking on the other hand, enhances my free spirit.  I find it a fun challenge when my fridge is bare and I have to make something out of nothing.  THAT–takes creativity and I don’t have to measure exactly.  I try as I go and rely on my senses to tell me what the final product will be.  In any case, today, we needed the warmth of something baking in the oven, and since I’ve been attempting to add healthier food options into out diet, this is what we came up with Blueberry Oat Greek Yogurt Muffins.

I truely believe that if kids are invested in selecting and creating their food, they are more likely to make healthier choices, so I enlisted the kids in helping to make their own breakfast.

First we started by putting on our aprons and washing our hands.  The girls matching aprons were a gift from the EB (found at IKEA).  Both girls filled the pockets with the “tools” they thought a baker should have, spoons, a butter knife, etc.  JT’s apron was a gift from my grandmother – the BEST baker hands down that I have EVER EVER known.

Next, I had the girls measure the dry ingredients and I assigned JT to the wet ingredients.

Oatmeal was a large component of this recipe.  It called for 1 cup of oatmeal and 1 cup of flour.  The last time I was at Trader Joes, I noticed almond meal.  Apparently almond meal can be substituted for flour in most of your baking recipes.  I didn’t have it today, but I am definitely going to pick up it up next time.  It bulks up the protein and eliminates a lot of the unnecessary carbs.

To avoid the unnecessary fats, this recipe includes almond milk, greek yogurt, and honey instead of sugar.  At the end, 1 cup of blueberries is folded into the combination of wet and
dry ingredients.  It does get a bit thicker than traditional muffin recipes and left me wondering if the muffins would be a bit dense.

Finally, we distributed the muffins into the 12 tin muffin pan and baked at 350 degrees for 20-22 minutes.  At this point the kiddos were  dying to eat so they snacked on a new favorite, Trader Joes Chocolate Almond Granola with Greek Yogurt.  I have yet to be displease with a Trader Joes product and have become a regular weekly shopper there.

20 minutes later and VOILA!  

 

 

My review – The muffins were a bit more dense than I typically like and not quite as full as cinnamon deliciousness as they could have been.  Maddie and Maeve rated the muffins 10 out of 10, but I would give them an 8.  However, as a much healthier alternative, I’d take them.  Next time I would try the recipe from my favorite food site Skinnytaste.

All in all our lazy day began pretty creatively and I enjoyed this time with my kiddos!

Now its time to clean the kitchen and curl up on the couch under a blankie with a good book and a cup of coffee.  The kids are playing Wii in their jammies and I most likely won’t shower today–the true definition of a lazy day!

Sometimes you just need to decompress and this cold grey day is the perfect day for doing just that.

In Case You Didn’t Know….

Marriage is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.  Have you ever looked at your spouse and just thought, “Why don’t you understand me?” “What don’t you get?” “How am I NOT being clear?”  “WTF?!??!!?!?!?!”

Uggghhhh…for me this is the most difficult part of being married.  When I look at my husband and I understand something in my head and he looks at me like I’m crazy, I get soooooooooooo annoyed!  Likewise, there are times I look at him and think that he’s a total moron……but he’s not and I’m not crazy.  This is just the nature of two people who commit to make the journey together through this thing we call life.

Isn’t this why we choose someone to be our life partner–to challenge us to be our best and to help us see things we can’t see on our own?  Sure, at the time, when we are going through the trenches, it is a royal pain in the ass, but once we step out of ourselves, sometimes we see that our life partner is bringing us the balance that we need.

I’ve never been one to pretend my marriage is all romance and roses.  This shit is hard!  We both put  in 250% and work together to make our team better and stronger each day.  When times are tough or we get into a disagreement, I have to dig deep and remember why I chose him and why I keep choosing him.  I imagine he has to do the same.

At the end of the day, I don’t want anyone else in my life.   We laugh a lot, enjoy each other’s company, travel well together, parent alike, and have some real good chemistry.  It doesn’t change the fact that I want to strangle his neck at times, but as he lies here next to me sleeping, I think of how thankful I am that the powers that be brought us together.

We have three beautiful children, a comfortable home, an amazing support system, and a friendship between us that will never go stale.

If you read this my love, even though we went to bed irritated, here’s to you….and here’s to us

In Case You Didn’t Know

 

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

Exactly one year ago I was in a job that left me so devoid of joy, that I felt I was locked up and scratching at the wall to get out.  I was teaching in a school that had a very definite picture of what a teacher should be, and to vary from that image, was a in essence career suicide.  Being the free spirit that I am, I was itching…clawing…NO… RAGING….to get out of that box.

As April vacation approached, I confided in our drama teacher that I, who had always been creative, felt a total emptiness when it came to my creative expression.  He reminded me that creativity is like a muscle that needs to be exercised.  He gave me the gift of inspiration back and I went home that week and unleashed myself.

It was great, I created artwork for my walls.  I re-finished furniture.  I planned out future projects.  I felt alive again and I knew that I had to get out of that environment if I were to continue to harness that creative energy.

When I got hired at The Met, I was given the freedom that I craved as a teacher to do right by kids.  I was afforded the ability to trust myself, try things, evaluate, and try again without feeling like a failure.  The Met feels like home to me and embraces my creative spirit.

As this April vacation approached, I decided that I would again take the opportunity to get those creative juices flowing.  I gave myself the goal of painting my small bathroom.  It doesn’t seem like a huge feat, but when you have three crazy kids running around, a mother who was in the hospital, and general everyday life “things”- it was a challenge I needed to accept.  I needed to re-awaken that muscle memory!

And….I did it!

Here’s how I got it all done in less than 24 hours.

I popped three kids in the car and took them to Lowe’s.  I had them help me pick out the colors for the paint.  Next week took a peek at vanities.  Thought I don’t really need one, it was still nice to give me inspiration.

We grabbed some lunch at Subway and then we headed home for Operation Bathroom.

What I am about to say,  I don’t recommend for all people, BUT….. I gave the kids a paintbrush.    Eeeeeeekkkkkkk!  The anal retentive control freak in me had a very hard time with this, but all in all, they did a great job!  I did need to make a few touch-ups, but they did help and I’m glad I gave them that little bit of freedom to experiment.  We stopped for a few hours, ran errands, did dinner and bed, and then I finished the entire first coat.

Time in bed, day 1- 11:30 p.m

Day 2-

8:00 am – Man from utility company arrives to do a free home energy assessment.  I make him a coffee and he’s happier than a pig in sh*t, so he goes on his merry way.

Kids wake up and I get them breakfast.  As they eat, I make beds, vacuum (yes, I know there is a contractor at my house), and cut up fresh pineapple and melon.

Kids finish I clean up for the 2nd time of the 7,684 times that I will clean something today.

9:00 am the kids friends arrive.  5 kids, 1 contractor, and me….and I didn’t even need a drink!

10:30 – Contractor goes over home energy report with me.  He tells me I need to drop 5 large into my house, goes on his way and kids start looking for snacks.  11:00 am comes, so I make lunch, eat luch, pick-up (AGAIN!), and send kids outside.

FINALLY-Operation paint bathroom begins!  Oh, and did I mention, that I also managed to start a compost pile and make homemade veggie broth before all of this.

So….it is 11:30 and I’m painting and I hear my son yell, “MOM!! Maeve just threw her gum at Paulie and I when we were on the couch!”

Are you effing kidding me……am I raising animals?!?!  Who does that??  Dismount from ladder, run gum investigation, send kids BACK outside, remount ladder.

2:30- the two kids that were visiting were picked up, I check on my little savages who have retreated to the couch.  I climb the ladder for the last wall and take the two girls outside with me at 3:00 pm to paint a shelf.

At 4:00 we all rush inside to get ready for the 5:30 baseball game for my son.  I take a record shower, throw on some comfy clothes, put the chicken in the oven, pasta on the stove and we sit down to eat at 4:20.

I’m surprised we all didn’t get agita because we inhaled our dinner and were out the door for 4:50!

It was so cold at the baseball game that my “girls” were indicating that the turkey was done.  I mustered through, came home, showered the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and recruited DH to finish painting the shelf.

9:30, tuck kids in and hang fixtures in bathroom.

10:00 pm – me time! I get to sit down and write about it all.

I guess as I sit here and rattle off the schedule of the past two days, it occurs to me that creativity was found in managing my crazy life.  I don’t look at myself as a superhero.  I don’t even see myself as an exceptional mom.  In fact, I see myself as quite average, and sometimes not even adequate.  But despite these feeling, today I realized that I was so creative is managing my life in a way that worked for me.  Some moms would have called the painter.  Most moms don’t make homemade broth.  Other moms would have the nanny care for the kids, while the painter came, and the chef prepared dinner.

I, on the other hand, somehow pulled it all off.  I’m not special.  I’m not miraculous.  I am just average, but I’m damned proud that I creatively pulled off my average, but very very busy life.

 

Timely

Ha!

Timely?

Me???  (Can you hear my voice moving up an octave?)

Hardly….. I have never been on time a day in my life, and honestly, I’m OK with that.

Let me tell you why.

I think that earliness is completely rude.  When I invite you over to my house, I tell you to be there at a specific time so I can adequately prepare.  7:00 pm, not 6:40 or even 6:58, 7:00.  It is even fine with me if you arrive at 7:15.  In fact, I’d prefer it.  If you show up early and I’m not ready, well, that to me sounds like a you problem.  I gave you the time…

When someone arrives at my house early, it feels like a smack in the face.  It is a bit F$%^ you.  The message I receive from your inconsiderate earliness is that I don’t respect your timeline and demand that you revolve your life around me.  Well, excuse me, but my life is like a GD carnival and the last thing I need is you breathing down my neck while I take the brie out of the oven.  But….I digress

Timeliness has never been my strong suit.  At work or school I never miss deadlines, but I tend to run up against the clock.  However, I’m not an asshole, so if I feel as if  being late is a possibility, I will always communicate that before hand and make appropriate arrangements.  Again, that’s OK with me.

I am who I am.  I was born Angela M. Twiggs, one month after her due date.  I have always done things on my own time.  I cannot be forced into things, but once I make the decision, I’m your go to girl.  I don’t like being told what to do.  If you try to tell me what to do, I will go ahead and do the complete opposite. The people who know and love me get this and respect this.

Socially I’m always 15 minutes late.  My babysitters even know that they can count on me to be blow drying my hair when they arrive instead of kissing the kids good-bye.  Friends tell me to arrive a half hour before the actual time of events.  I try really hard to get there on time, but most days I can barely get out of my own way.

But like I said, if you know and love me, you get this.  And, if you get this, you are one of the few that I don’t mind arriving early.  You are one of the very few that I allow to see my house in shambles.  If you get that I put my all into what I do and tend to over commit myself because I want to make everyone happy, then you are my people.

Timely, nah.  Probably never will be–and–I’m Ok with that.

VIA daily post Timely

 

My New Health Obsessions

Zoodles!  Sweet Potatoodles!  Carottoodles!  Healthy noodle alternatives are everywhere!

In my quest for better health, I have found my body to be craving and responsive to a loosely pescaterian diet.  I eat mainly fruits and vegetables, fish, tofu, nuts and seeds.  Occasionally I will eat poultry or whole grain, but generally my body just hasn’t “wanted” carbs.   However, as an Italian American, this presents an interesting juxtaposition…..I am OBLIGATED to eat pasta!  When Sundays roll around, my brain is telling me  to make a lasagna, and make it using real semolina pasta, none of this alternative shit….so, I make it and I eat it.  After I consume a monstrous plate of gravy laden spaghetti I feel like a dirigible: over-full, bloated,and full of gas.  In general I feel downright icky!  Needless to say, I needed to find a happy medium.

Introducing zoodles!!! TADA! Zoodles are zucchini that are cut by a sprializer into long spaghetti like threads.  You throw some pasta sauce over them and voila! What makes them even better and more versatile is you can substitute zoodles for any type of noodle dish.  Lately, I have been sauteing up the pre-marinated teriyaki tofu from Trader Joe’s and throwing it in with my zoodles.   My kids even like–ASK– for the tofu!  I’ll add a little soy sauce, some asian vegetables and my favorite Korean condiment, Gochujang sauce, and I have a super healthy low carb, high in vegetable meal.

Last night, Trader Joe’s did me a solid and came up with carrot spirals!  The carrot spirals were in the frozen section and looked intriguing.  What I like about the carrot vs zucchini is that the carrots hold up better to the heat than the zucchini.  Zucchini tends to get softer quicker, where as the carrots maintained a little crunch.  Because I’m a good Italian, I enjoy my pasta

a little al dente and the carrots helped to meet that need!  In my eyes, Trader Joes carrot spirals get two thumbs up!

Other New Healthier Alternatives

I have always loved salad.  Give me some leafy greens, a crumbled cheese, fruit, and a nut and we can call it a day.  I would eat this every day all year if I could.  For some reason, as of late, I’ve been craving Asian food in all of its forms.   Can you hear the 80’s song, “I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese, I really think so!”?  My latest salad addiction is leafy greens, .25 cup of cashews, .25 cup of shelled edamame, one small mandarin orange in segments, and homemade asian dressing.  SO EFFING GOOD!  This salad has all of the right flavors and its clean!

For breakfast, I’m a simple lady.  Because I’m a mom who is constantly on the go, I need something quick and easy.  Shakes seem to answer this need.  I buy the Trader Joe’s Hemp Seed Chocolate powder.  .5 cup of the powder, 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk, and 1 tablespoon of all natural peanut butter leave me more than satisfied for the morning.  It also helps me to reduce my sweet craving throughout the day.  I like this powder because it has a dark chocolate type taste.  The flavor is rich and satisfying, but others may find the texture off-putting.  Because the “powder” is hemp seed based, there are very chewy itty bitty seed parts.  It doesn’t bother me, but others who don’t want to chew their shake might find this unappealing.

I have also found another protein shake that is equally as delicious, but has a much smoother creamier texture. Vega Protein and Greens is a delicious whey alternative.  I have always traditionally used whey based protein shakes, but as I get older, I find that whey shakes have me running to the bathroom begging for mercy….lol.  I decided that I would try a “cleaner” shake and stumbled upon this.  I was more than satisfied with texture and flavor.  Vega also offers other flavors such as vanilla and berry that I have not tried yet, but I’d be surprised to find out that they were anything less than amazing.

Next on my list to try

Tempeh- Yup, Trader Joe’s does it again by helping me to eat better and cleaner.  I’m not sure how to make or prepare Tempeh, but I know it is used typically as a meat alternative.  I’ve done a brief Google search, but will do a more extensive one on how to utilize this, but here is a recipe on my radar Tempeh Crunch Wrap

Meatless Ground Beef- This has become the subject of much chatter on my hubby’s FB page.  I saw this at Trader Joe’s and was intrigued.  The picture suggests stuffing peppers with this beef alternative.  I’m guessing if I camouflage it enough, my family won’t even notice that it is “meatless”.  Maybe a “bolognese” sauce over zoodles??? Health overload?

Ezekiel Bread- Admittedly, I don’t know much about Ezekiel bread, but I do know people who look for the healthier alternatives often turn to Ezekiel bread.

Always accepting new suggestions

I am always looking for new ways to make this gig easier.  If there is something you think I should try, please leave a comment.  I’ve said it before and I said it again, I started this blog to keep my self accountable, so I’ll always appreciate any feedback or tips!

Happy (healthy) Eating!

 

 

My Sunday Church

Alone, driving in my car is my one safe place to think what I want to think and to feel how I want to feel.  I am in charge. I have the power.  There is no one else around me to distract me from my deepest and sometimes ugliest thoughts.   There is no judgement.  There is no distraction.  Yet, it is also in these moments that I have some of the most satisfying revelations.  In the quiet solitude hearing only the white noise of my tires hitting the pavement, I can reflect on life and what it is that I am truly feeling.

Early Sunday morning as I drove to yoga, my other true place of peace and reflection and I was overwhelmed with the need to contemplate so many things that have been present in my life lately: forgiveness, weakness, good health, and so much more.  To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about any of those things anymore.  I am at a point in my life where I feel I am at a crossroads and I need to choose the path that I go down very carefully.  While driving in my car this morning all of these things were running through my head and I desperately needed to sort it all out.

At 8 am I hit the mat.  To me, yoga is my version of Sunday at church. There is no choir, no priest, nor pastor, and no pew.  There is a yoga instructor, fragrant incense, meditative music, and an atmosphere of gratitude and reflection.  We yogis come together to set an intention and work with our body to turn our selves inward and explore the essence of who we are.  We vinyassa–marry breath and movement.  In these moments I strive for silence and stillness within.  I empty myself of my to-do lists, my arguments with loved ones, my negative self talk and allow myself to just be.

These moments are challenging, requiring to persevere and keep calm even when your body tells you no.  I am challenged to be strong and to continue doing things that might not be comfortable.  It is a good life lesson- calm down, breathe, and carry on.

Yoga is a practice that keeps me centered.   Yoga and its teachings have helped me to blossom and grow, like the lotus flower tatoo on my back symbolizes.  Yoga is my church.  It is where I give thanks for all that is good, challenge myself to be a kinder, humbler soul and ask for forgiveness for my misgivings.  I need yoga almost as much as I need air to breathe.  This week has been no exception, and when I left my mat I felt refreshed, re-centered, and ready to embrace the day ahead.

Namaste.