I’m divorced…..well, not officially until May 28th, but all the papers have been signed and everything has been agreed to.
I’m not going to get into why or who did what to whom….it doesn’t matter. For the majority of my 19 years marriage, my memories were happy and actually full of love… We met at 19, were married at 24, babies at 29, 31, and 33. It all happened young and fast and the truth is that we probably just grew into different people. And…the truth is, though we tried to make it work for a long time, we didn’t love eachother the way we deserved.
For a long time, Tom was the love of my life, and I still love him as the father of my children, but I’ve come to realize that he deserves more than what I can give to him and him to me. And so….after a few moths of tears and reflection, we decided it was time.
It’s not even remotely easy….obviously two people in love don’t get divorced, so we certainly have our share of nasty arguments and such. Though our kids seem to be adjusting, it isn’t always easy going between mom’s house and dad’s house. We try to co-parent as best we can, but we’ve both made missteps. Divorce just plain old sucks….
BUT….it sucks even more to stay unhappy and unfulfilled. If there is anything I’ve learned, it’s that both Tom and I deserve authentic happiness. Through this process, I’ve fallen back in love with life, with myself, and with my kids…and someone very special to me.
I’ve learned that life sometimes just doesn’t go as planned. In fact, sometimes it down right goes to shit, but that’s ok. When life happens, often the universe is preparing us for something new.
And I’ve also learned that as heart broken as we both were over our failed marriage, giving love another newer chance is OK. In fact, it can be wonderful. A lot of people have a lot to say, but I have no ill will and I hope Tom finds someone who cherishes him like I did….and do. I am inclined to believe he has the same wish for me.
This process has been devastating and intriguing all at once. I’m incredibly blessed to remain close to my “in-laws” and to have found someone, rather unexpectedly, whose soul feels like I’ve know for a thousand lifetimes. You’d have to ask Tom his thoughts and how he’s doing, because honestly, he’s not mine anymore. Nonetheless, I love him as my children’s dad, as my first true love, and as my once very best friend. I hope his heart is full of love and peace, because finding it for me, has made all the difference in the world.
All 4'7" of me 